We are all a product of our experiences. Good or bad, our conscious and unconscious past permeates our present thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions. It is only by becoming aware of or acknowledging this that we can examine our inhibitions and fears.
Like me, you probably have emotional scars. We all do, whether we are aware of them or not. Examples include the pain you may have felt from being teased at school. Or the fear you might have experienced when your parents constantly argued. Or the hurt and shame you felt for not meeting a teacher's high expectations. Facing and understanding these types of experiences allows you to reshuffle your present.
The only person who can change your life is you. Not your therapist. Not your partner. Not your family. Not any of your friends. Only you. And a starting point is to recognise how your past experiences appear in or influence your life. The way you treat your children or partner. The stress you create to perform above and beyond what is expected of you. The pressure of always having to look your best. These branches and leaves of the present moment have firm roots in the past.
But, your past is your past. It does not have to be your present and it definitely does not have to be your future. However, only you can make the choice. Start by becoming aware of your actions and thoughts. Try and understand them, especially the negative ones. Then, confront those negative thoughts and beliefs. Change them. And see what happens.